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I ALWAYS SO SELFISH

 

Podría ser una buena expresión para describir lo que siento. Brian lleva dos días con el estomago mal, dice que ya está casi bien y siento en su voz que es cierto pero ¿Dónde coño estaba yo mientras el se sentía tan enfermo?

 

Lo sabía, estaba seguro de que llegaría el día en que tuviera que perderme algo, una pincelada de sus vida y así has been. I had to be there with him. I should go on the first flight, without stopping to wait for me to say it was better ... without waiting for anything. I'm your husband, but my selfishness I could.

Each exposure is more important, bigger than the other, each one requiring more work in the previous and I feel that I can not play much with time as before. If I leave each table at any time, either by the motivo que sea, no podré acabar para la exposición y tengo otra justo un par de meses después. Pero sé que solo es una puta excusa, una estupidez que me he contado a mi mismo para consolarme y hacerme creer que no soy tan culpable.

 

Pero lo soy y lo soy mucho más de lo que creía.

 

Hace dos noches le recordé el día que conduciendo llamaba por phone and had an accident ... I was frightened by their poor condition and that I do not know why , came to my head. I suddenly realized that not sabíaa who was there, I never had that and I, really, given their poor condition, I never thought to ask. That was not important. But last night you ask.

not remember, but was thinking and wonder ... Is not he remembered something and taking so long to answer? How do during those seconds could think of something he did not remember?

insisted, insisted again and again until he tired ... I guess that will not stop hammering or may not be realized I did not know, or maybe you just got away. " Justin was trying to talk to you when I had the accident, had been calling all afternoon and your whole afternoon with the phone off ... I told you, I'm not senile ... " The truth is that to say I was petrified, I could not continue talking and, although I think I've noticed, I now know that if at that time he did not know was that I was the fucking guilty of that.

thing that's costing me is that I can not escape anything, not notice that I am aware it was all my fault. I guess I can not tell you how sorry I am that this will be for me. But the truth is that I got the phone and Brian spent the entire evening calling me worried, and that had it not been for that he had not suffered that terrible accident.

I have no desire for more, I do not flogged again and again, it should not, I have not done so badly.

Daphne phoned me and while he painted, we talked for over an hour, I will visit soon and I'm really supercontento Believe it or not.

But sorry, I can not, I do not ... I can never do that again. As Brian would say "it did not matter then and does not have now." Only if it mattered to me yeah.