PARADISE GONE
Yes ;, is over, goodbye it all day, to see him walk with that picture, so dark and beautiful, smiling, relaxed and happy. If at any time, as we strolled through Paris, I imagine that volveríaa took part with him, at this time, which is hard for me to believe that one day I will live with him forever.
always says I have to fight, the sooner you become a famous painter before we quoted at length ; be together forever. Brian is sure that I will achieve, that I am very good, that the time will come. Yes, he trusts me, but on occasion like this I wonder what happen if you make a mistake.
What if waste years of my life chasing a dream that never came to achieve?
How can I live if after being condemned to solitude for months, years, defrauded?
What if one day my success is directly related to the sympathy that I cause in some people? ... rather some. I wonder what will happen if so much effort and suffering is not useless.
I love him more than I could ever dream of come to love in life, in this moment, Within hours of landing shit separate us again ... while we laugh in the face again I feel that I control this empty house Ela sometimes falls on it.
Maybe the other night Brian had razóny had to absorb the city to begin painting. Now who knows? Even someone could make him happy, maybe not volveríaa remain for me, after all this on myself ... I leave in the old Pittsburgh and caught a flight sin mirar atrás, sin pararme a echar un último vistazo a las alianzas, sin ser capaz de mirar su esplendido cuerpo tumbado en la cama, dormido, solo, tan, tan solo… tan triste.
¿Qué fue de aquel chico rubio que lloró un buen rato en la puerta del loft? Si, aquel que en su estupidez, en su ególatra imaginación creyó escuchar al hombre de su vida desesperado ¡Que engreído! Cuando cerré la puerta dormía with his face pressed to the mattress like an angel who would join me in my solitude, day after day since.
Please vast yaaaaa! Need this sense of loneliness, the fear, this perpetual desire to scream, scream leave me. Was over, I can not go Britin is not possible, nor is it today or someday know if it will be.
Sometimes, in moments like this where I say goodbye to him, I feel I should fall in love with someone who would not let him never alone, someone who never left it to pursue a chimera. A man like him should not lose his life just waiting for a love that never ends to be at his side.
Since we've come I can not hardly speak, I can not look at him and tell him to be quiet, that this will happen, I'm fine with it I own your soul is mine How can I do that when I'm broken inside? If you think I'm strong, I can with all that I'll make ... but I know it's not true.
My life will be wrapped in a thousand colors that cover some success with the terrible loneliness of two souls united in feeling but live forever separated. Brush to canvas I will perhaps I can successfully sell maso galleries less prestige but I know that the time devoted to them as I start to our lives.
Although sometimes I think she deserves a man who is at his side, I know it's mine, it's just míoy I love him and I need and do not want to lose ...
And I feel like I'm losing a little each day, which we know it ... and I have afraid, very afraid.
I find the way back to his side, I want to win to return to his side, I want to do whatever it takes to return to his side, to return to his hand to his side and feel no fear, nor loneliness, nor want to scream.
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