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sra_danvers but to list five men While not llevaríaa bed without hesitation, yes I find attractive. 
Sra_danvers . The meme is quoting 5 celebrities would you take to bed without hesitation. Then copy the conditions of the list: sra_danvers has given me permission to list 5 women. And since I have permission, there goes my list: 
sra_danvers y me ha retado con un meme . Por supuesto podría haber dejado pasar la ocasión, pero me gustan los retos, así que me he visto obligado a responderle. Aunque primero, por supuesto, hay que ser educado y presentarse. Por cierto, el fantástico userpic que estás seeing what she has done. Thanks love 
How long ago was my last day? I do not remember, the truth is that I am, long ago, too busy for anything but paint, exhibit, prepare, travel and if I have some time splitting to Pittsburg.
missed But go if only to say that life is fine for me, but good, fanta ; acoustic. I guess Brian was razóny a matter of time, although missing so I can go home with Ela definitely, but that as his slogan of "only time" seems to start having some meaning.
course I explain that the more paint, more work and less time I have free for all. For weeks have not talked to Daphne, I have to call, as done preparing the next exhibition, which is already in the opening of doors, we propose a weekend together. Yes, I will, well ... I will do after returning to rest in the arms of Brian.
Today is Friday night, I know we're both too busy this week to move Pittsburgh neither he nor I here but I love to see it appear just like that right now. Yes, one of those times when it appears at two in the morning and comes creeping in la cama, me rodea con los brazos y desliza su lengua despacio por mi cuello camino de mi boca…
Creo que voy a dejar de pensar en lo que deseo o en lo que me gustaría porque además de no ser posible está empezando a sentarme mal, o bien, según se mire. Mejor me voy a ir a la cama a descansar que mañana me tengo que levantar muy temprano.
I've finished! For now I'll have a quieter day, finished the exhibition, meetings, rush ... we're in summer and the world seems to relax. But only for few days, so yes, I seize.
Tomorrow I'm going home, I think now I really need to see, really. I have just can not wait to go with Brian to Babylon, to go out and commit any excess with him, sleep next to him and for us to go on vacation where you can enjoy my husband.
I get there before the girls leave, hopefully until we can make a meal together. As only going to spend a week or so was to go now or running out to see Gus do not know whether I'll get to see him and would be a shame to miss because you have not seen him and I am sure that this great as his father ! Are equal.
Where have in mind to go Brian? The truth is that if I go with him gives me quite the same. All I want is to spend with my husband a few days ... I almost forgot that feeling.
more to say I do not, I'm going to pack, not that I need to take many things but I want to finish soon, before dinner and that call me.
been a long time since I took us both in ourselves and we were so eager to come face to face, being able to caress, that when we were brought together into one of those small and hidden kisses us. Feel his arms around stroking my back, my hair was an incredible feeling, I know that sounds stupid, many years ago that we are together and I felt often but since ú ; last time we were together to much ...
Back to inhale its aroma, having it stuck to me and see her lips move while talking is delightful to hear every night as much as I can make you feel.
When we were capable of taking off we headed to Gus is so large and so like his father! It's a very smart guy and loves to draw, it is more, every day makes it better.
saw us and came running, was launched around our necks and we caught between the two hugged us and started telling things. We pulled up inside the house to teach us a lot of new things "that we had not seen" so we sat with Ela play a while after to greet the girls.
Brian and Mel did hint to get along and there was good harmony, that is true, but even though I try there is no way, they collide front. Sometimes I do not understand how being so alike in some things along so badly. Save us that we were not at home but every night it cost us a world away from Gus. But we comforted knowing that at that very moment he fell asleep on his bed, we would deliver us into a world of intimacy we needed as breathing.
But it's over a week and we have returned the phone and the memory of each other's arms. Today I closed my eyes and tried to inhale its aroma, as the last day before we said goodbye, I could almost feel it. I'm a little sad, to deny, but to see it again gives me strength to go on and inspires me every day.
WE GOING TO SEE GUS!
I'll finally see! I do not know how long it was since we were both separately and I know that is not mine, that both need to see us and rest, disconnect from work.
Kinnetik Brian needs to put aside and relax, take a very tough couple of months now so I can finally have some gave , as for me. Yes, for me, although this sum we are three or even five, haha, but knowing next to me at this time is a luxury Asia. RIEF with nonsense I can not quite overwhelmed already, but feel their fingers linked with mine ... OH shit!
also do not see Gus since Christmas and it is true that I did not enjoy as he wanted. He must have grown a lot. It is as handsome as his father are so alike as two drops of water and see them together is a feast for the senses when they are together both live every minute, they turn on each other. The expression of happiness that Brian has when he sees his son play, talk, paint, do those tickle wars, haha that's priceless. Never, at any time life can anyone ever seeing Brian Kinney with that twinkle in his eyes or the face so radiant.
addition Gus is very special for me, I like to take my own blood, I was born and when we meet again I know ; Does She feels her way something very similar. Has a pronounced artistic streak is a sensitive child and whether, as they get older, every passing day Masy connect better with him.
But if I must be honest, the part of the vacation time is more anxious to have Brian in my arms. The second that we are after months without seeing each other, without touching, tasteless fuck ... is far too long.
I give a shit that sounds very Bollero or seems corny! I need my husband, the phone does not supply all needs. I need your touch, your eyes, Brian has a brown eye so deep that when I look I fall apart. And long time no see me. Long time no touch me ... long ago ... I'm not naked
Well, let's leave that I will see my men and my friends, relax and enjoy, to recharge batteries and come back here with a heart full of new and mind full of memories until you can see it again.
I love Brian Kinney.
Soon Brian will chime finish rest here with me (that is created, you will rest), but while every detail just finished and can come I advance my work as I can. When you arrive I'm sure that after so long without seeing each other last thing you want is to paint normal right?
¿Puede alguien querer pintar, o trabajar en lo que sea, con Brian Kinney pululando en vaqueros mal abrochados sin ropa interior a su alrededor? Yo no, no tengo tanta fuerza de voluntad, soy un alma débil.
Hoy sólo he parado un par de horas para ir a comer con la vecina de abajo a la cafetería, lo cierto es que no la conocía y si no hubiéramos hablado ayer en el landing would still make friends with any neighbor.
is friendly, fun and looks good person, one who is alone in New York , but she did really seems to be alone while I have luck, I'm only momentarily and I know that whenever you need will be for me. While that is something that took me a lot in understanding and que a veces aún me venga a la cabeza… pero ahora sé que no es así.
¡Estoy tan impaciente por que venga de una vez a esta ciudad que se me eterniza el tiempo! Menos mal que una vez aquí hará que cualquier cosa haya merecido la pena.
Por otra parte cada vez que hablo con él por teléfono I'm so tired I passed a huge penalty. Already sleeps little and just eat ... I'm sure there these days just come and stressful as well as very tired even thinner.
Well, he should return to the canvas if I want to spend, when it comes, all the time to it. I can not give you all my time, I know, but as much as is in my hand ... When Brian through that door I can not do anything but wrap me in his arms. Neither able nor willing.
say good things come to end soon, I say prontísimo. Daph Two days have passed in the blink of an eye, but of course, how well we've had and the confidence that we have released.
It was like old times, when I see it, pase el tiempo que pase siempre parece que la haya visto ayer y que la distancia no sea capaz de minar ni mermar nuestra relación. Y es cierto, no es capaz.
El domingo por la noche la pasamos en vela, apenas dormimos, fue una noche dedicada a contarnos aquello de nuestra vida que no fuimos capaces de decirnos por teléfono. Y yo tenía más de un cotilleo de esos que no se pueden decir sin verse uno a la cara. Aunque necesité more than one joint and a Whisky to let go what I was going and at the end, I have been able to overcome.
has promised me that once again have some holidays are coming to see me again. I know he will, is a woman of her word and what the heck! We've had great.
When I accompanied yesterday morning Airport neither had slept, she would throw a guess you sleep on the plane. I went home and slept until lunchtime. Then with a smile on, finished the work that had begun.
But it is a simple smile is a smile ... she was pleased these days and as Brian said that this runs week will end the campaign and come. I did not start to jump and the hysterical, haha, but I think it should be normal at this point I can not wait to see my husband right?
I thought this weekend would be long and boring, paint without removing the head of the canvas and try to move quickly, advancing all the work they could to go soon to see Brian. And in part it has, finished the work to which he was putting the finishing touches, and before preparing the next canvas called the phone.
the end I was not so alone. Daphne called to tell me veníaa New York on Saturday, and although we were talking about two hours, took three minutes to reach the conclusion that it would be me.
arrived at noon or so when we entered the apartment opened her eyes so expressive that you have with a smile from ear to ear and walked him twice without stopping to tell me over and over again how amazing it was so big, so bright and on arrival I looked into the bedroom in the eye with that expression, lol so Daph.
We Chinese food and began to decide what we would do at night, the truth is that I was so excited to see that the weekend I am being happening in the blink of an eye. Will leave tomorrow morning and although it will be nearly two days seem to me so little!
As she rested a while I called Brian to tell as well if I was going to go out there not want him worried and missed him very much, I miss you, always ... he knows it. Then do not wake her, let her sleep for a while mientras adelantaba un poco la obra que estoy empezando y que seguro que estará influenciada por ella.
Fuimos a una cafetería muy parecida al Diner, en realidad nada comparable a él, pero si tuviéramos que compararla, sí, era una cafetería situada en la zona gay. Pero ni tan colorista, ni tan alegre, ni tan familiar… sólo parecida. Aunque nos trajo un montón de buenos recuerdos y estuvimos un rato riéndonos.
Then we went dancing, had much to not go out with Daph well and, frankly, in New York I've hardly been out dancing. It is not something that I feel like having to Brian so far, it's funny when he put his arms around me or where I can laugh with Emmett, but here I remember dancing with my husband or my family I like.
But yesterday I had a fear, I laughed a lot with her, I danced more than he had in all my time in this city. Daphne loves to go out with me for the environment, says that she is happy, funny, always liked but, deep down, I remembered a lot of Babilon and Brian, and so many nights, though I suppose that's inevitable.
arrived home late, at three, we had a few but nothing more. We fell into bed next to each other and so we have awakened a while ago, is the only woman who slept in my bed, is curious how good I am at your side ... it's great when she is.
I did not had to remove any nuisance it, but, haha, she loves me a few. Nothing unusual in a gay nightclub the two or three in the morning. Guess what normal. Also the next time you repeat this out hope that Brian is with me and then be wonderful. Wonderful and hot.
I'm back in New York, had no choice, the work I expected, I have a couple of meetings I go to the gallery tomorrow. It's always hard when I left him but after nearly a week in his arms, feeling pampered and loved, it is certain that come with batteries charged to face this huge city.
Although Who denies it? The would make much more loaded with enveloping presence. But you can not have everything in life, let alone all at once What will you do!
Brian had a lot of work, the company is stop and I've had far more time than usual to paint. But I've been with him and I think his presence has strengthened me, I could talk to Ely clarify my ideas, which I really needed.
yesterday to enter the plush apartment he sent to me, for the first time I got to feel comfortable. I left my bag, took a shower and lie down in bed or a single shadow disturbed my sleep.
I wonder what time after my departure to New York began to change. I do not mean to when I realized my painful insecurity, not even that I sensed. Nor at the time Brian felt something was wrong, he was more jealous, inquisitive, cuddly ... No!
I mean the minute I started pulling the rope. Yes, that moment in the distance and the loneliness began to take its toll on me. That first change that you crave an imperceptible and yet often decisive for get to do things they will later regret.
Brian also changed the distance surely influenced him, but our changes were not at par. My husband learned to love and appreciate, to know what I needed to appreciate the need to form a pair of two. Just two. In a few months Brian demonstrated the ability to love with a capital, the need to have me at his side, me and see me happy, fear to lose the confidence necessary to share my secrets with me that I had buried.
Yes, the problem is trust, not yours but mine. At some point, as he was leaving the skin to show me he loved me, I started to lose myself. When a couple of nights ago he told me on the Messenger "... that was my fucking self-esteem so low as to think that after what happened this year was going to go with you to ... "Suddenly I started to try to remember.
Well, not suddenly, just for a moment, I saw that damn kid of seventeen and went through my life at his side trying to see me reflected in a moment as I am today. I'm still me, inside me I'm sure I'm still me. But if I could see the boy for five or six years maintained a non-relationship with Brian, who was slowly able to fight for everything she believed ... the runner, I carcajearía certain to me.
By then Brian once told me that a man should know when to seek help, do not know how you ask for something like that, not that he should ; to do. Since then I am sure my husband does not deserve punishment will tell you more, or again you get that or any issue, should not have to help anything. Although I acknowledge, with hand on heart, I wish I could ask for help understanding how definitively away everything I have been mortifying. After so many years together I, I, would have to know how to get the head of all this crap unjustified doubts and uncertainties and behave with a modicum of dignity and respect myself. And I'm gonna do for me, first for me but then for him ... for us.
What if I've realized what I was doing? Oh yeah, the memory is a silver bullet. Maybe not when you remember is always better than what you have. But never, ever could have imagined that one day llegaríaa have so much, and yet I know enjoy it for what only looked at what I need ... no I had.
I do not know if I'm thoughtful, quiet and lonely in their eyes. I want to be myself, enjoy it, take your memory poderme when in New York and enjoy the memory. I would like to see me as I have always been and not as a fucking dyke I became at some point. Not that I want to see me and to praise or such crap is that after four days without stopping to think, review, discover and try to redirect my ideas, I would think that, finally, I have some clear
I have no desire to write, I feel bad despite being at home, at his side, I can not feel bad remedy. But do not feel bad that yesterday I spoke so well that hardness is given, nor the times I did feel a complete idiot.
I asked for a word that would define how I felt ... It was so hard! Just a thought? I felt guilty, stupid, wrong. But I felt guilty over all others. Guilty of all the pain he caused, his discomfort, guilty of every stupid idea that was thought and said.
moron ... How did I behave that way? say that, thinking, thought. Can anyone tell me how it might do so? How could I be jealous of a woman? Yes, I know, I know the reason why I'm so ashamed.
settled the issue yesterday and to return has not opened his mouth and pointed me anything or need to. Every time I look at my agreement and I would of slapped, sometimes close my eyes ashamed to what happened, not daring even to think on that topic.
Sorry, I do not know what happens to me, but I can not talk about it, not even thinking about it. Maybe in a time when everything has been natural to expect it but right now I have no desire to continue and again remembering those days.
All I would really, really, is to make sure that I believed. You know it hurts him dañoy fact that he knows how I feel about that yesterday did not seem to ... whatever. I guess I deserve this wretched uncertainty.
still do not know how I was able to tell. One thing is to write in my journal that I think sometimes, even madness, because I know que nadie lo va a saber y que es un simple desahogo. Pero ayer mientras hablábamos por Messenger yo me puse algo celoso ¡Joder, estaba celoso de una tía! Mierda debo de estar loco.
Lo cierto es que no lo estoy, ni es la primera vez que siento celos de Rose… Sí, es homosexual, pero las mujeres lo desean tanto como los hombres y lo devoran con los ojos. Desde que empezó con la cuenta de Prada apenas habló con él por Messenger o en la comunidad once a week and the phone ... well it's something different.
also fucked with a woman other for years How can you be so sure that luxury, class and elegance they will not blind at a time when you're alone and quite hot? Fortunately that is not reading this, thank goodness we can not read why I can not imagine what would happen.
Solo le pregunté pero se enfadó de verdad, mucho, claro que no se me ocurrió otra pregunta que “si era una mujer de verdad” y en realidad no era tal la pregunta, ya que sé que Brian es muy sincero. Para cuando quise esquivar la conversación él estaba furioso y yo no podía callar sin más, Brian no aceptaba un simple silencio.
Me comparó my working relationship with Tom to his own with her and that hurt. I started remembering that I had fucked Tom and thus I thought what he was trying to tell me ... Could he be able to use this method again? He said no and I knew it was always sincere and yet my mind recalled other tempos and fuck I died of jealousy, in the end got angry and left.
As sound is gone. I wanted to shut me up, I asked him to stay and I apologized, tried to apologize to the truth and waited but did not return in a long time. When morning I woke up he was asleep on the couch and I know it hurt a lot to doubt his sexuality, he felt jealous of a woman and I feel that what we have been distant and I look different .
still not sure how far I have got angry or not, but I feel terrible. I know they have razóny my jealousy should be stupid and irrational and I thank you not know the things I thought.
But at this point does not know how much I regret those first words and how I would turn back to eat my own thoughts. I do not know I trust him, that all are thoughts, fears and insecurities, but nothing I care more than their word. It has always been sincere and I feel that this thought has brought all this ...
All for a woman I'm crazy fuck!
soporific Time passes slowly when you're away, especially if it is weekend and I do not want to mention if you pass the time in bed, sofa, bed, the couch. So I eventually picked up the phone and I've spent the afternoon talking to Daphne, I recognize that is a surefire way to smile, always has been.
But I have done something wrong, I told I'm wrong ... of course I promised you not to tell anyone. And I trust her, I know I will not tell.
course then I remembered things in diaa told Brian that he should not say. But this is different because today has given me his word and as Brian, not broken. Also, I need to talk to someone or I'll go crazy, since Brian is with this account strikes me half and never at the Messenger or ... In any fucking part! But I know that is crazy about me and loves me and that what goes wrong. It's just that sometimes I miss and I can not do anything ... I knew this pasaríay on returning back to the real world you would work overwhelmed one to season. Although no account if Prada is a burden for him, it is for me and remember how happy he is every time I'm talking about it Jealousy? Ja! No, I can be jealous of an account ... I'm going crazy, but at this distance that does not seem so strange.
I think it is well of acting like a dyke would say Brian, I'm going to dinner, something has to stay! While rummaging through the nothing to reign in the fridge today fingers crossed for me to call at least should be, today is Sunday.
No doubt I have the flu! Yesterday I went back up mouth, the picture is not finished and I've stuck all morning to see me doctor. In the end it was the flu, gave me an antibiotic and antipyretic and back to bed. The more fat that I do not affect the throat or anything but I feel all numb and m aching muscles. At this point, after three days should be little to start improving this shit disease.
taken I have no voice, so when I talk to Brian just looks a little tired. But I'm in bed, but So that is what I say? He is so busy they barely have time to eat and I know this for him is also something very special ... even if I knew, but can not do anything to come and I need to know that he's fine.
AH! The food had to be postponed until Monday. In fact I have not eaten, I do not remember when I ate so little. If I told Brian not believe it always amazed me that looks like a lot, jajajaj. I have not even bought anything for tomorrow. If I get hungry and ask for something to eat on the phone.
I hope when I heard this little lie and it is right, because if you come to know while I was in these conditions will be angry, I know . But in the end Who is going to say?
I could not go to Pittsburgh this weekend and Brian is currently working up to his neck with your new account. In fact it seems that she takes all your time and it is not me feel like I'm not saying that, but I think is enjoying like never before with an account ... and sometimes I feel, I dunno, maybe somewhat apart.
Thankfully not read that I doubt he understood what I just wrote.
Up I have to finish this painting, tomorrow I will see Patrick, wanted to talk about something related to the second exposicióny eat with the owner of the gallery where I will share ... if Tom but I have not said anything to Brian at the end of something past. And so it should be.
I spent two days with a slight fever, I think I'm cool or something, but Brian just passed gastroenteritis and is very busy so I have not said a peep about it. And the truth is that nobody knows. Debbie called me yesterday and said nothing, not even my mother calls almost daily. If I do eventually want to come will know and I know he can not.
But I miss her so much it hurts, really hurts ... physically. I feel so strong when I talk to your would give anything to be able to play at the time ... always happens to me igual.
No quiero imaginar como será esta semana que viene cuando lleve diez, doce, catorce días sin verlo. No sé como cojones lo vamos a soportar, Brian mal pero él creo que en este momento vive por esa cuenta, es muy importante para él, para los dos, pero a nivel personal supone mucho para mi bello marido. Y lo comprendo, pero a lo mejor estoy un poco celoso de todo el tiempo que puede dedicar a ella… es de locos ¿Cómo puedo decir algo así? ¡No quiero never mind what he would say! I know I have no reason to speak well but not every day that I think the Prada near Ely is not me.
Well I'll change the subject because if not I will give one of these attacks so bad "drama queen" and do not want to sound Brian would say a dyke.
Vale! I think I'll leave the diary for today, no matter what I do I can only think of Brian.
I'm taking the temperature, I'm a little sick and I have a lot of heat. I hope Brian still take some time to talk to me ...
I ALWAYS SO SELFISH
Podría ser una buena expresión para describir lo que siento. Brian lleva dos días con el estomago mal, dice que ya está casi bien y siento en su voz que es cierto pero ¿Dónde coño estaba yo mientras el se sentía tan enfermo?
Lo sabía, estaba seguro de que llegaría el día en que tuviera que perderme algo, una pincelada de sus vida y así has been. I had to be there with him. I should go on the first flight, without stopping to wait for me to say it was better ... without waiting for anything. I'm your husband, but my selfishness I could.
Each exposure is more important, bigger than the other, each one requiring more work in the previous and I feel that I can not play much with time as before. If I leave each table at any time, either by the motivo que sea, no podré acabar para la exposición y tengo otra justo un par de meses después. Pero sé que solo es una puta excusa, una estupidez que me he contado a mi mismo para consolarme y hacerme creer que no soy tan culpable.
Pero lo soy y lo soy mucho más de lo que creía.
Hace dos noches le recordé el día que conduciendo llamaba por phone and had an accident ... I was frightened by their poor condition and that I do not know why , came to my head. I suddenly realized that not sabíaa who was there, I never had that and I, really, given their poor condition, I never thought to ask. That was not important. But last night you ask.
not remember, but was thinking and wonder ... Is not he remembered something and taking so long to answer? How do during those seconds could think of something he did not remember?
insisted, insisted again and again until he tired ... I guess that will not stop hammering or may not be realized I did not know, or maybe you just got away. " Justin was trying to talk to you when I had the accident, had been calling all afternoon and your whole afternoon with the phone off ... I told you, I'm not senile ... " The truth is that to say I was petrified, I could not continue talking and, although I think I've noticed, I now know that if at that time he did not know was that I was the fucking guilty of that.
thing that's costing me is that I can not escape anything, not notice that I am aware it was all my fault. I guess I can not tell you how sorry I am that this will be for me. But the truth is that I got the phone and Brian spent the entire evening calling me worried, and that had it not been for that he had not suffered that terrible accident.
I have no desire for more, I do not flogged again and again, it should not, I have not done so badly.
Daphne phoned me and while he painted, we talked for over an hour, I will visit soon and I'm really supercontento Believe it or not.
But sorry, I can not, I do not ... I can never do that again. As Brian would say "it did not matter then and does not have now." Only if it mattered to me yeah.
should be used more after taking so much time with Brian not to look, touching, patting, praise and fuck my ass. Does not escape anyone that I see it, you can always go and Enceladus, or can be excited ... it depends. That's Brian.
But now, when you go shopping, three girls looked at me in a way ... whispered and turned so that made it clear the topic of conversation. The behind him in line, never bothered me, on the contrary, but I have been observed. When one of them encountered "accidentally" and touched my ass I admit, I have jumped forward, she apologized but I am getting the ass! Hell is not that what you think ... it has messed with me!
Many look at me the ass, and many, jejej, is not the first time I soban ... of course. But that was three women! In the end, calmer one has told the other "... you're gay." That made me very funny. A very scientific deduction, if you have a nice ass, then you are gay shit!
Nonsense apart and I'm alone again, without him. It was a weekend of pure madness, I was so happy su cuenta de Prada y nos echábamos tanto de menos que ambas cosas a la vez fueron un bomba de relojería. Mimó mi mano de una forma maravillosa. Sólo Brian es capaz de causar ese efecto en mi cuerpo, es tan paciente, sus movimientos son tan relajantes que cuando me falla la mano y él está lejos, como el otro día, me desespero.
La verdad es que no descansó mucho el viernes. Quizá el sábado un poco, un rato, pero sigue siendo invincible. I was willing to leave you breathless, to defeat, but on Saturday and ends on the bed exhausted. I do not understand where he gets so much energy, never gets tired of me love. Although, if I have to be honest, I do not get tired, really I can not wait all week waiting to feel it again.
When I am here those memories involve me completely. I am inspired, I feel they give me strength. be near it refreshes me and gives me energy, it is true.
But every time I opened my eyes I realize that I have again left alone, my head reproaches of times that I lose ... yes I'm a heavy, but it is what I feel when I come back and I realize I've left a hundred miles.
'm restless, I have days without coming here, days in which I have not done anything but paint, paint every hour until my hand tonight has begun to tremble. For months he spent not so bad with the fucking hand, I remembered the massage Brian gives me when I passed near him.
always seemed incredible that a man like Brian Kinney could be delivered so sweetly. That lovingly hand massage, slowly, slowly until slight tremors down my intensity and the pain was down a bit. Today I missed you so much that I could not remedy the call. But he was not.
I tried not know how many times I do not know anything about him since we spoke yesterday afternoon. At night it was, well ... would be in Babylon. The truth is that I'm dying of jealousy, I know his word never faltaríaa not jeopardize what we have, I know, but I imagine those guys around and my mind takes me other times ... and I'm sorry, I know I should not, I have no reason to think right or wrong but I can not help.
Things are different to six hundred miles, the distance is a very tall tower, sometimes it is hard to bear. My hand trembles and it hurts, does not obey me, I'm wasting the whole afternoon tare for this shit!
But it's my fault, I should not stay until the morning painting, I was angry, I think full of anger, rage, no I could remove the images from another era, if he knew ... I'm so sorry! But it does not help not being able to know anything about him since yesterday afternoon ... no, no help.
Where are you? Please peek somewhere. I need to know you're fine, otherwise I do not, but tell me you're okay ... angry, tired, sad , tell me whatever but let me listen.
YOU NEED.
Within hours you will see finally feel his breath on my neck and his arms around me just when it is attached to my body as if out of me. Sorry it's been so long since I have it in my arms that I can not believe they are five days ... and I find it incredible that this should be the routine of my life.
Retrasé la firma del contrato pero no ha podido estar, supuse que no podría pero yo lo quería aquí, soy egoísta y lo sé pero esperaba que estuviera junto a mí. Me costó enfrentarme al hecho de volver a estar cerca de este hombre de nuevo, sí, puso la cláusula en el contrato pero sé que habrá cosas que no va a poder evitar y que seré yo el que tenga que decir. Brian But try not realize that not suffer, do not have to go to Pittsburgh with the feeling that Tom is dangerous ... because it is not.
For many firms that their costumes look nothing will even remotely desirable to my eyes. He is handsome, is elegant but not Brian. Brian will never be ... no one will ever be him.
Today by signing the contract clause I have read and I watched with a smile to realize that he ... can not help it. Sometimes I'm sorry, I do not know to what extent it does intenciónya bad from where it is instinctive. But neither of those puppy eyes that gives me or the clothes she wears now, not so appealing that aspect will like Brian who has not seen lately.
just hope that Brian remember that I love, a feeling so strong, so pure, much needed breath that nothing could replace, delete or change. Without my husband there is no inspiration, no life, no happiness.
I LOVE YOU BRIAN
Yesterday I had lunch with Patrick and Tom brought to lunch. He thought it would use to talk about the upcoming exhibition with him so this lunch really was three.
Not that I'm mad at Tom and Patrick be with you at all he has done and thought it would be , for the better. In both cases they have. Although in reality must be acknowledged that Tom very elegant wine, wearing a ... an Armani an Armani! not remember seeing him dress like jamásy, frankly, after seeing Brian wearing one with bastante asiduidad no me dice nada.
Pero he de reconocer que es bastante atractivo y que vestido de Armani aún mejora… que el pobre se esmera. Pero joder es que mi marido no es alguien con quien medirse sexualmente ni físicamente, Brian es un ser especial, es el hombre más bello que he visto en mi vida, es un ser perfecto, es un amante insaciable capaz de hacerte enloquecer y seguir sin descanso. Y por supuesto, nadie, nadie de este mundo sea quien sea es capaz de ponerse un Armani y pasear con él just like that ... as does Brian seems born with a set screw!
Yes, I have to admit that Tom has come to gigs and more that intention but behaved like a gentleman and I touched even once. There a conversation in which he spoke of the gallery setting out, state the date and what maso least expected to do. But did remain a ... gentleman? Something .
This morning I called after talking to Patrick about future exhibitions, I said that before signing the statement and to reach more agreements Ely I had to talk. has acquiesced and we stayed in the gallery where I was, I had really wanted to get him alone but needed to set the tone.
made me into the office and offered me a drink that I have not accepted ... I did not want. I have explained the conditions, only exposure if he is able to behave. Nothing hands where it should, no occasional friction, nothing to try something that will not happen, none of these every day trying to convince me of anything.
He has tried, has approached, has caressed my hair and I me angry I woke up and I told him that if what wanted to fuck him that does not ever happen again. I love my husband, I will not put my relationship in danger and if you are approached in a way that should not be terminated the contract and I want it in writing. "Find a way to include in the contract" I said.
then turned away and told me he would do nothing that would not, he respects me, loves me and wants me ... but nothing will happen to me do not want. I've replicated a "Tom, will not want to understand?" And I accepted the fact he smiled and told me I can always change at any moment but he will not do anything bother me or put me in a bind.
"Let me keep at least hope"
"Sorry Tom, but I will not sleep with you and I'm in love. Only if you're going to respect my private life will show. "
" Justin know how I feel but will respect any decision you make. "
That would be a good summary of what is past, it has been longer than I thought, he recalled, has tried to make me feel something, has come a bit but I think that you understand and I'm glad, because I think seriously not a bad guy ... that's something only love.
not stop thinking about Brian, poor, with the time that it will have been eaten demonios, aunque después al hablar conmigo no se lo deje notar, pero sé que es así.
Todo vuelve a la normalidad y aunque parece mentira puedo soportar este sufrimiento. Pero cuando se me hace tan grande que siento que me quiero dormir y no sentir más, cuando mi corazón llora o estoy en ese punto en que voy a meter todo en mi bolsa y salir a Pittsburg en su busca, entonces lo llamo y no le digo nada, respiro hondo y hablo con él… dejo que me de una frase con la que seguir hasta the next call.
bad thing is that I have called and you can not put ... is in session and I need to talk to him ... he really need ...
Love hurts sometimes both.
